Assignment 3

Ron Paul stepped in front of a New Hampshire crowd on January 8, 2008 to give his most disappointing speech to date. While his tirades against federal power are often as motivating as they are humbling, his speech entitled “Live Free Or Die” is his most blatant employment of tired semantics and textbook rhetoric.
Most voters, whether for better or worse, consider Ron Paul synonymous with “Washington Outsider.” True he’s been a congressman for forty years, yet he’s just never quite fit the bill. Aside from trying to deconstruct the federal government brick by brick, he is also guilty of the political blasphemy of admitting and apologizing when he is wrong. It is for these reasons that it is disheartening Ron Paul would construct a speech using several examples of false dichotomy.

False dichotomies are cheap. How many major political parties does the United States have? How many candidates after the primaries will have an honest shot at the presidency? Two is the magic number of false dichotomies. There are over a dozen political parties and even more candidates involved in the presidential race, but in this country after the primaries, only two will matter (and a quick heads up – Ron Paul will not be one of the two).
We expect false dichotomies from our mainstream politicians. It’s Hillary vs. Obama on the Democrats side, although some Conservatives see Clinton as a more viable Republican candidate than McCain. Either way, it’s always in twos. Hillary will first have to overtake Obama (which doesn’t seem likely), then she will have to overtake McCain (which seems even more unlikely). She will never face both men at the same time, since a race of three in politics is unheard of.
While our mainstreamers duke it out in the spotlight, Ron Paul, at times, seems to be the bigger man. But for the first time in this presidential race, Ron Paul took off his Better-Man Hat, and dove into the trenches of mudslinging and stale reasoning.

If Ron Paul’s audience were really as anti-Washington savvy as they claim to be, the tomatoes would have started flying after the line, “You only have two choices in the Republican Party Primary. You can vote for me or you can continue to see your country’s future squandered.” That’s right, Ron Paul actually announced that without him, America’s future would be squandered. The idea is absolutely ludicrous. First off, we have had a President for eight years that has done nothing but “squander,” and our country isn’t circling the drain just yet. And secondly, Ron Paul is a radical. And nothing proclaims a radical’s shoddy foresight like saying immediate change is the only avenue for improvement. Evolution is slow. Cultural evolution is even worse.
Ron Paul survived his first embarrassing line, only to immediately pontificate another. “Now, I’ll admit I’m not much of a politician. I’m not smooth, polished or particularly inspiring speaker but I don’t need to be…” Did Ron Paul steal Mitt Romney’s playbook? This is almost word-for-word Romney’s appeal to living outside the private sector. When will politicians realize no matter what they do, they will never be The Everyman. Archie Bunker was an Everyman. Edward Hopper was an Everyman. Drew Carey is today’s Everyman. Politicians are not. And nothing is more damning when trying to relate to someone than coming right out and saying I relate to you.

As stated before, the most impressive aspect of Ron Paul’s political career is his willingness to admit fault. When racist opinions appeared in his newsletters, he went on national television, affirmed that these allegations were true, and said 'Sorry folks, I don’t know how those got in there. I should be more careful about what I put my name on.' End of story. Incredible. He didn’t cry forgery. He didn’t say he was going to launch a formal investigation to uncover who was at the heart of these slurs. He just jumped on television in a grandpa-like sweater and said sorry.
Ron Paul makes mistakes. Totally forgivable. So as a Ron Paul fan, after hearing his horrific false dichotomy and his flat appeal to The Everyman, I just expected him to say 'Sorry folks. I didn’t realize this speech was so lame. Let’s see if I can make this right'. But no such luck. Instead, his false dichotomies only got worse.

“When I am elected I will bring our troops back home to their families. I will end this war.” That is not an option. In no way are there two clear-cut answers to our Iraq debacle, but immediate withdrawal would just be criminally irresponsible. A country cannot just walk away from an international quagmire. The war is beyond the point of pointless by now; but if we broke it, we have to fix it. Burning Iraq down, then saying Oops and going home is no way to save face. I understand Ron Paul’s concern for the troops and I would like my friends home as much as the next guy, but they made a mess and now they have to clean it up.
Forgive the sophomoric vocabulary, but idiotic is the only word I can think to describe Ron Paul’s next false dichotomy. “You want freedom? I support legalizing drugs and abolishing the IRS.” Now granted, I thought anarchy was cool too when I was fifteen and smoked pot, but sooner or later people are supposed to realize there is more to life than pissing off your parents. Ron Paul, with this dichotomy, actually suggests that illegal drugs and federal taxing are what’s really holding America back. I myself am really crossing my fingers for the right to drink and drive too. Of course that’s going to be difficult under Ron Paul’s direction since the government won’t be able to afford roads in the first place.
And for his finale, Ron Paul explained the real reason he’d make a good president. “You want honesty, integrity and commitment? I’ve been married to my lovely wife for 50 years.” That’s all it takes? My grandparents have been married for 60 years, so should I vote for them instead? Family values have nothing to do with being a good leader. Ben Franklin had three bastard children. God knows how many women JFK gave a tour of the White House to. And Bill Clinton certainly didn’t lead the United States into its greatest (and short-lived) economic surplus because he was a faithful husband. Ron Paul usually isn’t this short-sighted. Ron Paul is sharp on his American history and his international understanding of cultures. Why would he fall into such a generic mindset then?
Ron Paul thinks he is a frontrunner. The fact that he has been buried by the polls has not deterred him a bit. Ron Paul thinks he is a frontrunner, and is beginning to act like a frontrunner. It’s only a matter of time before he’s kissing babies and shaking Bono’s hand. Ron Paul was the people’s champion. But if this cookie-cutter speech, which shares its title with the creepiest license-plate slogan in the country, is any indication of what is up Ron Paul’s sleeve, it won’t be long before his grassroots candidacy is laid on the cooling board next to Ralph Nadar’s and Ross Perot’s, down at the political morgue.